The Hard Way

If I were to write an autobiography, I believe I would call it "The Hard Way."  Ever since I was a little girl, my father has expressed his frustrations and amusement with many of my actions by saying "You do everything the hard way!"  He was not wrong.  He continues to not be wrong- at least in this particular area.  What can I say? This is how I learn!  Try first, read directions when your first (or second or third) try does not work.

Before I begin the farm stories, I wanted to share a little background for those who do not know me well.  I was fortunate to be raised by two loving parents in a wonderful neighborhood with my big sister Stacy.  I had a rather charmed childhood, although, like most children, I never appreciated it at the time.

Although I give them a hard time, my parents both always support me, even when they disagree with my choices. My dad, who has a strong dislike of horses and my riding, has always made sure he is at every event to cheer me on.  My mother who worries constantly about me being alone is always still pushing me to enjoy life and not take anything for granted.  My sister has grown to appreciate my farm life as she thoroughly enjoys a farm fresh egg every morning!

Us- (im the one making the first of many awkward faces.) plus a friend of the family.

As easy as it was for me, I am afraid my childhood was not easy on my parents. My father's hair went gray prematurely, and nobody had any doubts as to who caused that.  I inherited my mother's big heart, independence, sense of adventure, in addition to her daydreaming. I also inherited my father's infamous stubbornness and laser focus on getting what he wants. I look at my friends and their kids now, and find it so entertaining to watch them argue with mini versions of themselves, and wonder if that is how my parent's friends saw us.

I've always had my own way of doing everything.  I threw tantrums.  I never wanted to go to school. Not because of anything specific that I can recall, it was just because I was told I had to.  My sister was always the perfectionist. She listened and took advice before trying anything. She was responsible with her money, dressed nicely, did well in school and in sports.  She was social and had many friends.  I preferred to wear whatever was around (usually riding pants and a hoodie,) having 1-2 close friends, participating in non team sports (riding) and working hard to earn money just to spend it.  Often times that money was donated to an animal rescue or on horse things.

I'm the bald one

All of the above still holds true for both my sister and me.  As soon as I began to dig myself out of debt, I immediately began to foster horses and donate to local rescues rather than save for the future.  I no longer buy expensive riding clothes, just shoes for the horse and acupuncture for the dog.  Do not ask when the last time I purchased new shoes for my feet or went to the doctor for myself.  Some things never change.

Trouble

Rather than being satisfied with allowance for doing my chores, I took on cleaning stalls and working at the farm to earn my riding lessons and to have as much financial independence as a 12 year old could.  I have never wanted to feel like I owed anyone, or that something could be taken from me...if I earned it, it was mine.  (That being said, I frequently had barn time taken away when I did not keep my grades up etc. which caused even more tantrums to be thrown.)  My parents would have rather given me everything I needed and have me focus on school, but that seemed easy, why would I want to do that?

 By 16, I was working at the local saddlery, pet sitting, and working at several barns in addition to my riding and taking care of my mother and helping my trainer as they both went through chemotherapy. This is not one of those stories where a kid overcomes all of these first world struggles and goes on to be a Nobel Prize winner. That is not me. That would have been easy with all of my resources. Nope. I wanted to party with friends and skip classes and be a normal teenager.  I did manage to pass my classes and never got into too much trouble (or at least I never got caught.)   By 18, I was living alone on a farm, working full time and attending college.  Again, my parents would have preferred me to stay at home and not work, just focus on school...but I wanted pets and independence, so off I went!

I never wanted be told what to do or how to do it.  In fact, I always took it as a challenge when someone would tell me how I should be doing something.  I aimed to get the same results but in my own way.  As an adult, this has continued.  I will accept my GPS' directions (usually,) but when they say arrival time in 17 minutes?  Pshhh, I can easily make it in 13.  Challenge accepted!  Live in an apartment in a city close to work and have no physical work to do or move to the country and constantly have projects and things to do and drive super far for work?  Sign me up!

My loving family has finally come to terms with my choice of lifestyle, although I can always manage to get an eye roll when I tell them how I meet people in empty parking lots to hand off eggs, and how sometimes I cannot talk because I am chasing a rogue hen back into her pen at bedtime.  Explaining how the horse needs his teeth floated and his hooves trimmed and shod and his coat clipped and cared for always brings on a barrage of questions. I am always just as curious about how they sit in traffic all the time and deal with meetings and big contracts. We may speak different languages but we never run out of things to discuss in our family!